thefemininewordlofcoldwomen

I am struggling with my ailment for “a few months” and in the edition I am going through – for the first time in my life.First of all, I never thought that something like this might happen to me, and secondly I write it when I feel that I am starting to function normally.However, daytime and uneven night and time will show what will happen next, but as long as the fight continues there is hope.And believe me – the beginning was terrible and I didn’t know what was going on – with me and around me.

It was only after some time that I understood why people associate insomnia with depressive states, because that’s how I imagine the hell of physical and mental fatigue that so many people go through and which can result in very unpleasant consequences.When it came to me, I really started to be afraid, and this fear, combined with fear for my health and submitting my life to my own indisposition, motivated me to fight hard.To be honest, I have no idea where I got the strength to start embracing everything I hung. Or maybe I know …?

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How to deal with insomnia? My tips

Sure, the best medicine for insomnia would be to get rid of all the problems and worries of this world, but when someone advises me to do something like that, I feel like biting this person’s aorta 😉

There is no universal recipe for getting out of insomnia, because each of us is different. One thing is certain – when we get this problem, we must first determine its causes (without them we are not able to effectively counteract),and secondly listen to your body. It may even rediscover it. Can explore. Just like I did it.

I will start with the magic word SUPPORT.In my opinion, what is behind it is the most important. At least in this initial phase.We can have support from family and friends, but also from strangers. Let’s not reject him, let’s not play “alone / I can handle it”, because at some point weakness comes and we lose strength to fight.

TIME. Relief and nightmare. Time solves many of our problems and allows us to deal with experiences or emotions.However, it requires a lot of patience, humility and understanding, and it can be more difficult with insomnia. Because while everyday life rushes like crazy, in the case of a sleepless night it stretches like tar.

Hints:

• ensuring comfort and hygiene of rest-that is, airing the bedroom, fresh fragrant and favorite bedding. Not new, because after some time it will evoke associations with the painful experience in the form of insomnia. A comfortable mattress and indicated twilight are also very important.
• night walk-Such a night walk in combination with a slight freezing definitely helps me fall asleep.
• removal of devices emitting blue light-at least 1-2 hours before bedtime – a TV in the bedroom, cell phone, iPad or laptop emitting blue light reduce the level of melatonin, which is the hormone responsible for the natural regulation of circadian rhythm.
• A warm, relaxing bath with your favorite accessories or home spa treatments with the use of oils or skincare cosmetics. I love the aromatic scrubs, followed by moisturizing the body with oils.
• relaxing music-all mild and teraupetic sounds, including the sounds of nature, purring a cat, meditative music or yoga, have a soothing effect on us. However, they have a depressing effect on me and I listen to music very selectively now.
• other relaxation techniques-affirmations, expressive writing, adult coloring books, puzzles, breathing exercises, method 4-7-8, meditation videos and podcasts, counting lambs or sheep – everyone has to find something for themselves, because not everything works the same for everyone.
• book reading -I love reading. Reading relaxes me.
• taking care of something that calms us down or lets us occupy our thoughts-painting, drawing, designing, sewing, watching an engaging movie, going out with friends, date with a partner, etc.For me, this is any activity outside the home, because it requires my mobilization and absorbs attention, creating and planning my activities for the next days and weeks – the perspective of cool and interesting things that are going to happen always has a positive mood.
• silence-can calm down, but it can also irritate and depress. I love silence. Sometimes I need days when I’m alone with myself.
• relaxing in bed, closeness,in short, sex with a partner – relaxes and soothes, thanks to hormones – oxytocin, which increases during the love act, decreases the level of stress-related cortisol released during prolactin orgasm and strengthens the REM phase, and gives estrogen deeper sleep (it is in women).I can add from myself that insomnia captures one serious argument – you have no excuse that you must sleep well and all night is yours 😀
• going to sleep when we feel drowsy-I have read that it is a mistake to stay in bed when we can’t sleep for more than 15 minutes. All you have to do is get up, do something relaxing (one of the above points, some even clean up) and go back to bed only when you feel sleepy.
• light diet-my insomnia is also accompanied by a reduced appetite, but I try to make my diet not poor, but simply light. I also limited tea and coffee in favor of lemon and ginger water as strengthening immunity.
• inclusion in the diet of products that have a positive effect on sleep -Cherries, potatoes, peas, lentils, rice, whole-grain crackers, oats, banana, almonds, milk, honey.
• dietary supplements, herbs, sedatives and hypnotics-Because I’m pregnant, I only used the lemon balm infusion, but I’m not sure if it affected me so much
• therapy-I have never used it, but I have nothing against it, but I still give it time using the tips above.

 My insomnia is not only the difficulty of falling asleep, sleeping a few hours without waking up or repeatedly waking up at unusual times for me.It is also anxiety, stomach ache and hectoliters of shed tears - mainly from helplessness and misunderstanding why it happened to me.However, I was able to determine the causes of my insomnia, so it's easier for me to control my condition. Although it is much better and I believe it will be completely normal, I still can not say that I managed with insomnia,but I have the motivation to fight it and I believe that it will be a nightmare of my memory for some time.

It is known that sleep is health, and what if it does not come?

I try to be vigilant, listen to myself, I have suspended many of my activities temporarily, because I see that the problem can be more complex, and I want to end this stage as soon as possible and want to do it fully consciously.

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What is insomnia? 

Insomnia is a disorder of the correct rhythm, time, depth and individual phases of sleep.
The problem is the concept of sleep and even if he succeeds, sleep can be shallow, restless and short-lived.
If this process is short and we know what is causing it, it is not bad. It is worse if this condition lasts for a long time, starting from a few weeks up, and begins to affect our daily functioning, because insomnia significantly affects our well-being, mental and physical condition.

What is the cause of insomnia? 

The causes of insomnia are a whole bunch and it can be different for everyone. The most frequently mentioned are:
➤financial, family, health or work-related problems,
➤family member disease
➤separation, loss / death of a loved one,
➤prolonged and often subconscious stress,
➤depression and depressive states
➤nightmares and night fears
➤too many stimuli, strong and unexpected experiences (both negative and positive),
➤health problems that we don’t know about,
➤toxic relationships.

Insomnia is a sneaky bitch 

I have found this out in recent months on my own skin.

She appeared suddenly, did not ask if I wanted to have her company, she settled in my life, disrupted the rhythm of my life, did a lot of damage in my head and body, made me afraid of something that I had never allowed myself before.

However, I am a strong woman and although I tend to be fragile, I have a lot of determination and a will to fight something that I did not deal with in this edition.

Those who know me longer know that I always functioned at night because I am the type of owl.Late nights are magical to me. I love them.Evening is a time of relaxation and rest. My evenings are also filled with a relaxing bath, reading a book, but I value the most moments when I can think about my day and plan another. This is my time and I don’t like it when someone takes it for me, that’s why I need this silence.I am a type of owl regardless of the season, age or lifestyle. I function better at night than in the morning – I am more creative, focused, calm and open to new initiatives. It is for me such a ritual part of the day, from which I draw a lot and from which I do not want to give up.

However, the time has come for big emotions, experiences, accumulating problems and family worries. There were health problems that I had never had before.It’s not that I can’t rest, I just had too much time to think about what might happen and there was too much stress in my daily duties.In addition, I clearly feel that with age I became more sensitive and empathic, I experience everything more strongly, and the bad news coming from outside still caused me not to notice when it all began to overwhelm me, when I crossed this thin line of experiencing and stressing what takes time, patience, humility and understanding.

Did I open a Pandora’s box? 

I am a strong, optimistic person, drawing a lot from life, caring for others, but at the same time not neglecting myself, experiencing everything very strongly, emotional, valuing strong sensations and not afraid of challenges.This sometimes causes me to be too greedy, too “take” my life too much, I take too much, I give too much.However, I do it with full awareness, because I know what the fragility of life is and I want to experience it with my whole life.
I realized that my strong character traits and my appetite for life can also be treacherous.People like me burn more, experience disappointments too much, suppress too many emotions and eventually explode, generating huge stress.

But I have many difficult experiences behind me and a few traumas that I came out of and which strengthened me a lot.So why did I break this time?Too many bad things have accumulated, too many emotions and experiences, and even though I’m tough, I gave up too much to some.
Well, let it not be that I am in some black hole, good things are happening and I will come back to them soon.
It’s scary when you get a problem for the first time and you think it will pass like any other, and you realize that it could be the beginning of something bigger. However, I do not allow myself to such a thought and act. I also have no problem with the fact that if I feel the need to go to therapy, I will do it.
I do not have depression, although I have mood swings, but it certainly results from the fact that I am currently struggling with a worse mood, health problems ,worries, pregnancy-I just have to wait, chase and / or tame.
Especially at night, when the body and brain completely refuse to cooperate with each other – the first one wants to sleep, the second one goes crazy.
When I have a weaker day, I am afraid of the night because I know that I will experience many hours of suffering again.To be honest I feel even rage that it happened to me, but despite all these difficulties, I will also emphasize that I value this experience because I know that I will come out stronger.I am of good cheer, have strong will and motivation to fight. I don’t like giving up, I can’t stand the feeling of powerlessness.

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My favorite part of the day

Can you feel it Do you hear? This silence, this peace, darkness, charm and the prospect of sailing into an unknown abyss. Soon.

Late nights are magical to me. I love them. Something strange is happening to me then. After a day full of activity, bustle, twists and turns, I should fall on my face. However, when the house is quiet, I do not sit in front of the TV, but gather the crumbs of the day together, close the topics and devote myself to plans for the next day.

The head begins to work differently, thoughts revolve around new ideas, I feel inner calmness, relief, calmness and inspiration coming to me. I intentionally slow down so that I can concentrate better and take advantage of the moment. Free time.

Evening is a time of relaxation and rest. My evenings are also filled with a relaxing bath, reading a book, but I value the most moments when I can think over my day and plan my next one. It’s my time.

Also my friends know that in the evenings I am the most active, I reply to text messages, call back messages, reply to emails.Late evening is a time when not only my home calms down, but a time when I can focus on my matters.

I am a type of owl regardless of the season, age or lifestyle. I function better at night than in the morning – I am more creative, focused, calm and open to new initiatives.It is for me such a ritual part of the day, from which I draw a lot and from which I do not want to give up, but …

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… I talked to this subject with a few people who changed their habits and now go to bed earlier and also get up earlier. They claim they are more rested and have more energy.But it doesn’t work for me. I’ve always been a night owl, I finished work at night, but in the morning I need a lot of time to get going …Catching the night, of course, has nothing to do with a healthy lifestyle, which I value so much, but for now it is stronger than me and above all more practical.

Maybe someday it will change, meanwhile …

the city is asleep, everyone is asleep and I am not.

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Perfectionists are people full of energy, enthusiasm and courage. They look at each other positively and rarely delay making decisions.In life, they are guided by high motivation and maintain high standards of work, which is why they enjoy their skills and predispositions, they also appreciate well-performed duties.This is one theory.
The second indicates that perfectionism can become a trap because a perfectionist makes self-esteem dependent on the goals and successes achieved, poorly tolerates failures and unforeseen circumstances, is not flexible in making changes to his plan and is often dissatisfied with the effects of work, his and others .

Where lies the truth? As usual in the middle, because of how much we try to be perfect, how much it comes to us naturally, and how much we clash to achieve our goal regardless of the possibilities, depends on the effect of our work, satisfaction, well-being and perception of reality.
In this sense, perfectionism can be both healthy and destructive.

Perfectionism takes the joy of life and kills spontaneous actions, and yet the pursuit of perfection evolves, shows high human aspirations, good organization, strong motivation, diligence and enthusiasm, raises self-esteem, allows you to maintain a high standard of work.On the other hand, it can be a cause of frustration, it badly affects our relationships with the environment, tires us and people cooperating with us, can lower our self-esteem and raises fear of criticism.

I have heard more than once about myself that I am a perfectionist, maybe this is how I am sometimes perceived, but I know myself well and I can say with perfection that perfectionism is still far away.Yes, I like to do things thoroughly, I care about the quality of their performance and pay attention to aesthetics, but I do not get crazy if something goes wrong.In addition, I have the audacity to say that perfectionism is not bad as long as it is healthy and meets several conditions:

Far from sloppy

Perfectionism excludes sloppiness, so we can work better, more efficiently and more interestingly.I am sensitive to sloppiness, getting things done and doing things in the basic version. beaker, dragging in time and postponing for better preparation for the task.However, care must be taken that in this context perfectionism does not overshadow the real goal and does not exceed our idea of ​​how the task should be carried out.

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Respect your time 

Perfectionism takes time, especially if we pay more attention to what the situation requires.Focusing on unnecessary details, we can overlook the most important and ultimately lose a lot of time that we could devote to more important things.I like to stick to my duties, do them as best I can, giving 100%.However, treating all tasks in this way does not fit in time, so I am not able to do them well. Especially if there are a lot of them.

Stress and burnout

When we devote all our time, energy and ingenuity to our work or duties, at some point there is the effect of being lost, and then of burnout, also professional.Stress related to accepting responsibility for your work or willingness to prove yourself can be so great that our relationships with our environment and our health will suffer first.Remember to break away from work and devote at least some of your attention to other aspects of life – hobbies, family, friends, rest.Letting go also brings relief.
It is also worth remembering to control emotions that creep into our everyday lives, because when they reach the zenith, not only stress, but also undesirable conflicts with the environment enter.

Passion or obsession?

Good question. I like to “devote myself” (I don’t like this term) to the task I do, regardless of whether it is my regular occupation or something new.At some point, however, I find myself focusing all my attention on a given topic, neglecting slightly different areas.I assume that if I am to do something right, I must really stick to it. The fear is only that at some point it begins to take on a dangerous size and we work at the expense of our own health.What we do with passion also deserves a rest from us.By maintaining a healthy distance to our passion, we gain a fresh perspective and more creativity.

Right to errors

Fear of making mistakes can be paralyzing for perfectionists, which is why they work beyond their physical and intellectual capabilities at all costs, sometimes by all means. And that’s unhealthy.I have no problem with this approach, because I make mistakes as something completely normal and natural when it comes to personal development and learning or learning new skills.
Besides, isn’t it cool sometimes to make mistakes and not get a headache on it? We learn more about ourselves through mistakes, and this is also part of our development.And one more thing. Each of us knows that there are no perfect people and you can’t be perfect in every field, so let’s take it easy.

I don’t have to be the best

Striving for perfection is not the same as being perfect in every inch.In my opinion, one differs from the other in that the first means our continuous development, improving our skills, using the potential and openness to new things, including changes.The second one is associated with obsessive control of my own emotions and actions and low flexibility, while too much focus on rigid adherence to established frames.
The desire to be (most) better, and self-acceptance in an imperfect version need not be mutually exclusive.However, they can be an additional driving force.
You don’t have to be perfect to love yourself. It opens you to the reality that surrounds you.

Rebellion and change

I assume that I don’t have to prove anything to anyone. If anyone considers us to be perfectionists, there is nothing wrong with it or derogating our dignity.However, sometimes the suggestions of someone from the outside can well affect our actions because of the distance of that person to our work. Sometimes it is worth going beyond the scheme of your activity and find out that a fresh approach to the topic can bring a satisfactory result.So let’s not close ourselves to others and listen to what they have to say about the quality of our work or our perception of the world.This broadens our horizons and is good for our development.

Give others a chance

Perfect people like to work alone, because they are afraid that others will not do the job well enough. Just because we like to do something exactly and according to our plan does not necessarily mean that others are excluded from working with us.Let others do your tasks, help yourself, you can also learn a lot from others. Give yourself and others a chance to develop joint solutions, do not set barriers and unreal bars and don’t expect everyone to meet your work standards.

Keeping balance

Perfectionism is largely learned, so you can work on it so that you can be moderate and common sense.
Personally, apart from satisfaction and a sense of well-fulfilled duty, I like to get pleasure from my classes and work, I value contacts with people very much, that’s why I don’t stop at my best practices and willingly learn from others.

My life is not without everyday worries, strange people and events that I would rather forget about. However, I am far from devoting more time and attention to them than is necessary.I am a mature person and I have not liked complications for a long time.I do not want to participate in a national complaint about life and problems that will be solved sooner or later.After all, I hate people who judge people by their cover.

“Things that women should stop wearing?The burden of expectations and criticism of other people “

Life is not Instagram or a Facebook photo, but real emotions kept out of reach of others 

I am a happy person because I live my own way and do not function under the dictation of others.I don’t know when exactly it happened, but probably when I realized that my life was in my hands and that I was working for my successes and I was responsible for my failures.I am aware of my needs and the needs of my loved ones, and the expectations of others do not occupy my head, because it is not them who make my everyday life the way I want – unique.Unique for me and my loved ones, because created by ourselves.

I stopped comparing myself to others and stopped listening to those who claim to have an excellent life.I like my own life and everything that happens in it – bad and good days, sadness and joy, hopes and dreams, undercut wings and tears of disappointment, difficulties that sometimes seem endless.All this is needed to strengthen character, to live a fuller life.

I am also free from judging others because I do not like to be judged by the prism of what I see outside.Real life goes on inside four walls, outside of social media, and I know what his heart is.

My driving force is family, mutual support we give, but also the freedom we give each other.

Life is simple. Don’t complicate it by force  

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It’s easy to get lost in what we do. It’s much harder to see the simplicity of life and realize that you don’t really need much to be happy.

“I made the worst mistake you can ever make. I forgot about being happy “
Jorge Luis Borges

Only a few years ago I didn’t enjoy such simple things as today.What used to be a luxury for me is nowadays everyday.I was a person who was totally absorbed in work and being busy was an indicator of ambition.Today I like to say that I am consumed by life.I am happy when I can go for a walk in the forest, listen to the sounds of nature, eat a healthy breakfast, go away and be with myself, discover that I am surrounded by good, wise and valuable people.I learned to wait, appreciate and absorb.I also learned to eliminate what distracted me and disturbed my perception of the world.Thanks to this, I can better focus on what is happening in my life and experience each day as if it were a holiday, although it is accompanied by the prose of life.

“No thought lives in your head for free” 

“No thought lives in your head for free.
Each of the thoughts you have is either an investment or a cost.
Either he will push you towards happiness and success, or they will distance you from him.
It will either strengthen you or weaken you.
That’s why you have to choose your thoughts and beliefs wisely. “

This is a quote that I found a few days ago and which I liked very much, especially in the context of the fact that a lot is happening in my life lately.When I feel overloaded with duties and overwhelmed by the fact that I may not be able to cope with them, I run into the world of thoughts.Sometimes I need loneliness for this. And silence.

I love to celebrate life. Being here and now is my recipe for happiness.I don’t tell anyone how to live.You will find here content that is always an expression of my own experiences and opinions. Do you agree with them? Great, there will be something to talk about. Don’t you agree Also good because boredom finally kills every relationship.

I don’t sleep well, eat moderately, I move a lot.
I only collect good memories.
I only share good energy with people.

I am spoiled by trifles, I celebrate everyday life, I practice mindfulness.
I get the best out of life.

If you like taking challenges, share them with me. In fact, I’m not afraid of many things.
If you like to discover new interests, you’ll find plenty of inspiration on the blog.
However, if you lack the motivation to act, let me change it.

In any case, write boldly at: thefeminineworldofcoldwomen@gmail.com

If you love life, we will certainly have something to talk about 😉

Never forget the most beautiful days of your life! Come back to them whenever everything starts falling apart in your life.